Changing nursery, the hardest decision I’ve ever made

December 20, 2009 at 1:07 pm | Posted in Baby Development | 7 Comments
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So, we finally took the plunge, after much debate – the bear will be starting a new nursery at the beginning of February.

It’s been a decision that’s taken months to come to, and with all the tragic news in the press this year about various nursery staff, we’ve felt lower than low about coming to trust new nursery staff with our baby boy.

The bear started nursery when he was five and a half months and we instantly took to his key worker, a lady in her early 40’s with a Mary Poppins type warmth about her.  The stress of the decision then was sending such a tiny baby, almost unable to sit up without cushions, to nursery so I could return to work.

First day at nursery – 5 1/2 months old

Being self employed meant that I could only expect clients to wait a short time for me to return to my desk; I was lucky that my biggest client waited at all.

So, that was all before the terrible headlines that hit this summer, tiny children, who’s parents thought they were in safe hands… I don’t think there’s point dwelling, but my heart continues to go out to those poor families.

On the point of why we’re moving the bear.  I feel selfish in saying that it’s a number of reasons that will make my life easier.  The traffic to our current nursery is shocking, it’s over an hour round trip.  The nursery doesn’t provide food, drinks, nappies or wipes and is expensive – we pay for the great service.  The new nursery does everything, with yummy home made nutritious meals for lunch and dinner.  They also offer extended hours for free; as early as 7.30am and as late at 6.30pm.

So that’s it in a nutshell.  I want someone else to do the the hard work so that I don’t have to on the days that I need to work.

Am I an awful mother?  Am I sacrificing the happiness of my child for my own sake?

Don’t get me wrong, we’ve read every single last word of the Ofsted report and they have a glowing review.  We know friends of friends who rave about the place, and when we visited, lots of shiny happy children were prancing about the place.

On top of that, they not only provide you with a diary of activities, they also review your child’s development, commenting on their strengths and areas that may need additional attention which I think is really valuable.

So, has anyone else been in this position?  How did you feel?  How did you decide who best to care for your precious children?

It is keeping me awake at night!  I might just see Santa arrive in one of my late night moments of awakeness.

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7 Comments »

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  1. I have so many friends in your position, don’t beat yourself up at all, a happy mummy is a happy child and it’s as simple as that. There is such huge guilt thrown around by other people and who are they to judge anyway? Since having DD it has become clear to me that we all worry far too much about what other people think and not enough about what just feels right to us.
    I have friends who work from 7-7 and have a full time nanny, I am a SAHM trying to start my own business while looking after DD who is at nursery 3 mornings a week, my best friend works full time and is the main breadwinner and her daughter is in full time nursery and has been since 6 months. Other friends do full time no nursery.. there is never a right answer just what is right for you. All my friends children and my own DD do everything at different times regardless of what we do and they are all lovely children (well most of the time) 😉
    The most important things is a) don’t feel guilty about anything as you clearly have your child’s best interests at heart b) enjoy your time with your bear 😉
    My wee rant over 😉

    • Thanks Cara, appreciate your comments!
      I currently work a three day week, so still feel I get quality time – although it’s hard to ignore all the housework and chores that don’t get done on work days, and go out and leave it behind instead – I’m a bit obsessive about the house!
      You’re right we put too much pressure on ourselves, I’d be far happier if I lightened up and got on with it!!!
      x

  2. He he. Cleaning what’s that. Something’s got to give and I am afraid fanatical cleaning is the main loser 😉 x

  3. Sounds like good reasons to move to me, and sounds like you have researched it well – don’t beat yourself up about it, he will love it, it sounds like a great place. Meggy starts in Jan and I am already starting to feel the pangs of guilt!

  4. I hated looking for child care. I decided on a child minder but I also visited nurseries and found the whole process very stressful. It was so hard to find someone I was happy to leave my child with but who also had the other requirements that you do have the think about – easy to get to, cost etc. I’ve been really lucky to find a great child minder who both of my children now go to and although we have moved house since, she is still only a 5 min drive or a 15 min walk away.

    My big concern now is what to do when F starts school in September as it’s possible the school she will go to will not be one my child minder can drop off/collect from. The thought of having to go through finding child care again is horrible and I know it would be unsettling for both my children. Just keeping my fingers crossed F gets into a school close enough for my child minder.

  5. Hi

    I know this was posted a few years ago but how did the move go? My son is 16 months old and I need to move him for exactly the same reasons. He has been happily at nursery since 11 months.

    I would love to hear how your son settled once you made the change x

    • We didn’t move him – we though we were making the right decision but it turned out that the nursery we were at was the right one for him. Sorry I know that doesn’t help but at your sons age they do adapt so fast and even if there are a few tears he’ll love it in no time x


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