5 reasons I couldn’t be a pop starAugust 11, 2010 at 7:59 pm | Posted in Daily Life | 9 Comments
Tags: dancer, day dreams, millionnaire, Pop star, singer
We all day-dream about being rich and famous (don’t we?!), but in reality could we cut it?
The celebrity lifestyle can seem pretty damn appealing – especially when you’ve spent the day running about like a mad woman trying to fit in ‘quality’ family time, housework, a job, the dinner, the bills (and the vegetables you’ve decided to grow in an ‘earth mother’ type moment).
I often day-dream about what I would spend a lottery win on, or how I’ll make my first million / go down in history. What would people say about me on Wikipedia?
Going back to the pop star theme though, there are five pretty major reasons why I couldn’t be a pop star.
Katy Perry Image courtesy of rtvchannel.tv
1. I can’t sing. Pretty fundamental that, right? I’d love to be able to carry a tune. Husband asks me to refrain from joining in with nursery rhymes in the car. I love a good round of one man and his dog though. My parents have a v. embarrassing home movie of me and a friend making a pop video whilst riding in the back of my dads open top car. We were called Caz and Raz and we wrote a song called ‘Into the blue’…the shame.
2. I could not, simply could not be put on a low carb, high energy type wierdy diet. I need my food. And I need carbs. I have a distinct dislike for sushi and would not be willing to swap wine of any type for sparkling water with a hint of lemon. I would be constantly hungry and crabby.
3. I hate my legs with a passion. And all the good pop stars have great legs, and get them out at every opportunity. I very, very rarely get my legs out. They’re pasty white and not at all pretty. I could have all the expensive and lovely treatments in the world – as well as fillers, botox, tucks and lifts, but nothing is going to get me long, luscious and bronzed legs.
4. I would get far too carried away with it all. Within moments of hitting the top 40 I’d be drunk, being escorted out of a nightclub and on the pages of Heat with ladders in my fishnet tights. I’d follow that by saying something ridiculously uneducated about religion, or politics or orphans and the nation would be horrified at my ignorance. I would of course have had perfectly good intentions but would be taken in the wrong way in my eagerness to show an opinion.
5. I’d have regular and embarrassing accidents on TV. Falling off the stage type accidents, or getting carried away with complicated dance routines and tripping myself or my backing dancers up. By the way I should add that as well as being tone deaf, I have a complete lack of cordination (if you missed the Usher post, laugh at my body popping misfortune if you must).
I think that pretty much wraps it up. So don’t expect me to be the next Katy Perry or Lady GaGa, ok. I’ll go back to my potentially prize winning veg instead – maybe I’ll be the next celebrity housewife-slash-cook-slash-Anthea Turner type-slash-mummy makes things-type person….sure there’s room for another one of those.