How often do you check your sleeping children?

March 3, 2011 at 8:48 pm | Posted in Daily Life | 9 Comments
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When bear was just under five months old, we had him in bed with us because he had a chest infection and was feeling poorly.

We were sleeping on an air bed at my sister-in-laws.  It was Christmas.

In the early hours of the morning I woke with a jolt to the sound of my husband screaming our sons name. I sat up like a shot and instantly started shouting his name and shaking him.

For a short moment that felt like about 20 seconds, my son felt cold and lifeless. I shouted for my husband to switch the light on.  Before he did bear wailed and I collapsed with relief.

For the tiniest amount of time sheer panic engulfed me.  He was simply in a really deep, warm, cosy sleep with mummy and daddy.  But it was hell.

Ever since then I’ve hated having him in bed with me.  Even now, a big strong two and a half year old, I worry about him being crushed.  The thought of cuddling up and sleeping together really does appeal but the moment I get the little snuffling, wriggling lump in with me I feel anxious.

We always check on him before we go to bed and sometimes in the night too.

Do you ever stop checking on your children when they sleep?  Do you let your children sleep in with you? And if you do, do you really get any sleep?!



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  1. erm..we still have the baby monitor for our 2.5 year old. Just can’t part with it yet. We do let her sleep with us occasionally these days when she’s ill but she mostly sleeps in her own bed.

  2. I still check on them and check they are breathing sometimes in a slightly neurotic paranoid fashion … They are 2 and almost 4. Does that make me crazy?! The 2 yr old regularly sleeps with us and has done from birth. I have never feared squashing him but we do have a super king size bed which helps especially when the bigger one climbs in too!

    • Am glad I’m not mental them. Seems most parents continue to check their children, I think it’s hard not to. And of course there’s that odd thing where you can’t wait for them to go to bed, then miss them as soon as they’re asleep.

  3. Piran is a really light sleeper, so as much as I would love to check on him I know that “check the baby, wake the baby” so I tend to stay away. We have him in our bed if he is ill but no one gets a good nights sleep (except perhaps him) and it is getting harder and harder the more pregnant I get so I tend to discourage it as much as possible.

    • I know that feeling, you curse yourself for checking when you know they’re going to stir! Then you endure the half hour of cuddling when them hanging around your neck to settle them again.

  4. I check on them as soon as I know they are sleeping, I check anytime I am upstairs, I check before going to bed, at least once and I’m usually up during the night to them so normally chek at well. I don’t think I could ever have them in bed with me. I’ve had Lucas in once when he was ill but due to the fevers he gets too hot and wants back in his own bed. It’s a tough one. x

  5. I’ve co slept with J since he was a baby and in recent years he has moved to his own bed but still comes in towards teh end of the night often.

    I do however end up checking on him if he hasnt come in, I always have. I remember the journey home when he was 7 days old, with him in the back with his father and I kept turning and asking if he was breathing!

    Paranoid parent? Me?

  6. M is now 6 and I still check on him at least twice a night. He gets to sleep in my bed once a week and I never sleep well for fear of rolling onto him, although he usually snuggles so close to me that I have more of a fear of me falling out of bed!

    Thanks for stopping by my blog today!

    • So it never changes then! It’s nice when they’re not so tiny that you worry you’ll lose them in your bed but that worry never goes does it!

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