10 types of mum that make the rest of us look crap

August 16, 2012 at 5:15 pm | Posted in Daily Life | 3 Comments
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On a regular basis I come across different types of mothers that make me feel like a slight failure – you’ve met them too, they make you wonder why you don’t have that many hours in the day, or why you’re not to turn your hand to a new skill at the drop of a hat.

I’ve identified 10 so far; you’re welcome to add yours.  And these are by no means an insult – far from it – these people posess some valuable skills – just a little too heavily weighted in one direction sometimes.  Life has to be for living too, right?

I may also be a little suspicious of how they pull it off – they all must have secret nannies and PA’s.

Here goes.

1. The No TV Mum – this mum mentions casually in conversation that her children don’t actually know what Rastamouse is yet because they’re not allowed to watch TV.  They’re allowed to watch Young Einstein DVDs though.  How do these mothers get themselves dressed and showered in the morning?!  I wonder if they must all have to wash en mass to avoid the baby eating your Liz Earle tinted moisturiser or the toddler putting the iPad down the toilet.

2. The Organic Mum – she has her fruit and veg delivered to her door in a brown and green box.  Meat and fish comes from the local butchers.  I’m quite envious of this mum.

3. The Grow Your Own Mum – even worse than the Organic Mum – this one has a vegetable patch! Openly envious of this mum.  The carrots and peas we planted this year got slugged on day one.  One day I shall have marrows upon marrows upon marrows.

4. The Iron Everything Mum – she irons duvet covers for Gods sake, I can’t even begin to figure out how you would do that and where you would find the time.

5. The Packed Lunch Mum – this mum takes packed lunches to soft play to avoid paying £3,95 for a cardboard box with cheap white cheese sarnies and a box of raisins inside.  I’m actually all for this and have adopted his approach, however it’s the mum who has made sandwiches from home-made bread that makes us look bad.

6. The Immaculate Mum – she always looks stunning.  There is some impossible magic behind the fact that she manages to feed her baby sweet potato puree without getting a spec on her crisp white Boden blouse.

7. The Educator Mum – not content with the schooling system, this mum knows all the best books, puzzles and games to buy at each stage of her child’s development, has canny tricks for learning the alphabet, counting to twenty and remembering manners.  She’s great for tips but you never admit it.

8. The Crafty Mum – I confess to being well into my sticking and gluing – I love a bit of craft time at the table, but some mums have a knack of giving their children total creative control, yet the  end result is still wonderfully quirky and cool.  How is it not just a total mess with arguments over how much paint is on the floor versus the paper?!

9. The Make Do & Mend Mum – she is very thrifty, converting worn out jeans into shorts for the summer and cardboard boxes into castles whilst the rest of us lob said jeans and boxes into a cupboard with the best intentions of being creative with them yet never seem to find the time.

10. The Culinary Mum – raised by Culinary Grandmum, this mum lovingly prepares a home cooked meal every night.  Now, that I can do (at a push), but this mum has such a varied repertoire of delicious sounding dishes that you want to be invited over every night.  You’ve never had sight of a fish finger or waffle at her place.  Although the fact that on the last two occasions you’ve been there, you’ve been served the same thing does make you wonder if she really does have such a varied repertoire after all….

There may be hope for us mere mortal mummies yet…


Cup from One Brown Cow.



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  1. lol love it, you so got them down. x

  2. Great stuff! I must do a similar Dad list when I get a moment…
    Will pop a link to this lovely piece when I do of course.

    • Would absolutely love to see that list if you do – first dad type I’d have on their that make other dad’s look bad is the DIY dad – knocks up a tree house in an without breaking a sweat or a drill bit

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